By Anote Ajeluorou
Many are agreed that marriage is a beautiful thing. A
cursory look at a young couple about to be wedded tells of the feverish
excitement of the union soon to be consummated. But that euphoria doesn’t last
for many. Soon, many unpleasant things begin to surface to the extent that some
may want out of the relationship contrary to the originator of the union.
A new book, Ready to Find, written by Pastor (Mrs.)
Mercy Ilemobayo, is designed to set things right for young people intending to
walk the nuptial road was dedicated last Sunday at World Changers International
Church, Kirikiri Road, Olodi, Apapa, Lagos. The dedication was presided over by
her husband, pastor Ilemobayo, who praised his wife for finding time to write.
While speaking about
reasons for the book, which is a sequel to, Fit
to be Found, Mrs. Ilemobayo gave
the glory “for the wonderful joy of writing this book to bless men and women”,
adding that it was her wish for the book to go places so it could achieve the
desired impact. In citing the bible injunction that ‘marriage is a honourable
thing’, Ilemobayo stated that it was regrettable that “things that happen in
marriage negates this and the purpose God set up marriage.
“As a pastor and
lawyer, I’ve encountered people and you hear things being said about matrimony,
the things they tell courts, that they no longer want the marriage. These are
people who have danced before in the house of God, you want to cry. The reasons
for heartache in marriage are the things raised in this book. A lot of the men
that marry are still boys and they throw in the towel at the first challenge. A
man is beyond somebody that has male genitals, but somebody that has the image
of God, somebody with a spiritual life to follow the instructions of God, who
is submissive to God’s word and ready to live in the image of God.
Ilemobayo said Ready to Find has chapters that deal on
such issues as ‘Trust’, ‘The Ready Man’, ‘Do you need a wife’, ‘Preparation’
and ‘Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh’. She said a man must be ready own
up to his responsibility, not yield to needless press, lust, paying of bride
price, providing for and love for one’s wife. She also said a man should “prepare
both emotionally and financially to avoid failure”.
Specifically, the
marriage counselor tasked marriageable young people to seriously take to heart
the saying, ‘bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh’ saying, “many people marry
because of the physical appearance, the beauty and not the spiritual side of
the mate. Go for the bone (spiritual) before flesh (physical) because beauty
will fail with time; the moral strength is what will keep the marriage”.
Ilemobayo, who has
been married for 23 years, said who a person marries determines the children he
or she will have, adding, “How you want your children to be should determine
who you marry”. Just like it was done in the good old days, Ilemobayo also
charged young people intending to marry to investigate who they want to marry in
a chapter she calls, ‘Investigate before you invest’, so as to avoid certain
pitfalls, saying, “find out the life of the family you want to marry into, the culture of your
in-law’s family; investigate physically and spiritually before you marry”.
The final thing a
man intending to marry should do, she stated, was consent-seeking, which must
include, “Consent of God, self, intending person, parents on both sides, both
biological and spiritual without which it would backfire. Get counsel from the
laws of the land through a lawyer to interpret the laws”.
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